I will find you
by souled-angel
Summary: In Angel Season 5 what would happen if Spike had gone to find Buffy the moment he became corporial? I thought I'd enter that thought...
1. Europe Scent

**A/N:** What happens if Spike actually did go to Europe to find Buffy? Stumbled of that ship in France to find her? I thought I'd create the scenario…

* * *

Spike peered through the dark night, seeing everything clear as though it were day. Vampire eyesight was always such a bonus to the alternative.

Angel had mentioned something about Europe, and here Spike was, running off to find her. He doubted he would find her… but you never knew.

He could see the docks, and he could feel his own excitement vibrating off him.

No sooner had his feet reached the ground was he running off into the darkness. All he needed was her scent, and he would travel all of Europe to find it if he had to.

* * *

It had been four days. Four days with minimal result. By minimal, it meant he picked up her scent once… but then it vanished as though she'd got on a helicopter and flown away… which she probably had…

He had reached Italy… and no longer had he sat down was he looking into a window and watching her body swing rhythmically to the beat of the music. His heart dropped to the deepest, darkest hole in his body as he realized she wasn't along. She was wiggling her hips into the pelvic regions of some Italian wanker.

He gritted his teeth and watched her. Faith was smiling and clapping, before she handed her a glass. Buffy drank the liquid and smiled. He realized she was drunk. On bourbon. He smiled softly. She gagged on the taste, then finished the glass and handed it back to Faith.

Willow was there too… over in the corner talking to Xander. Andrew sat with Giles, who was shooting disapproving glares in Buffy's direction. _So he should…_ Spike thought.

All of a sudden, Andrew was looking into Spike's eyes. Spike paused for a moment before sprinting off into the night. Unfortunately, he had ran in the precise direction that Andrew was exiting the club from.

"Spike?" he called, spotting Spike through the darkness.

He stepped out of the shadows, revealing himself to Andrew. Andrew rushed forward and hugged him.

"You're alive! Oh my Yoda, You're alive!" he exclaimed, holding Spike at an arms length. For a moment, Spike feared that he would kiss him. Then he let go. Spike breathed a sigh of relief.

"Whoa!" He grabbed Andrew by the collar of his tweed jacket, "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to get Buf-"

"You're not going to get jack. As far as she knows… I'm dead… well… I'm gone. That's how it's gonna stay," he snapped.

"But… why did you come if not to find one's long lost love and show hers in return?"

Spike frowned. "What? No. Whatever that means, no. I just came to make sure she was… okay. She has a life now I can't just come stumbling back in, buggering it up. You can't make an entrance to top that exit."

Andrew chuckled. "True."

Spike started at the entrance to the dance club with longing. "I can't just go running in there. 'Hi there, Slayer. Just thought I'd come back from hell and surprise you…'"

"I can see how that wouldn't turn out for you, my lad."

"Course it would work out for me. It just… might have a few flaws… an'… she doesn't want to see me again anyway…"

"Doesn't wa… Spike… she spent eons of time looking out over the horizon with but a burned hand to remind her of you. It took her ages to see a psychiatrist. And when she did, she couldn't open up to him. A Vampyr slayer such as her? Meant to be with someone. A Vampyr. Such as yourself."

Spike almost laughed at the stupid git. But he refrained. The door creaked and he was gone.

* * *

"Andrew?" Buffy called, "I know the Hellmouth is bust and all… but you still shouldn't be out alone in the dark with out vulnerabilities!"

Andrew sighed and watched Spike as he raced off along the rooftops.

"Is _someone_… there with you?" Andrew knew who she meant by someone…

He wasn't good at subtle… "Nope. No-one at all. I'm all alone."

Buffy exhaled irritably. _Annoying little child._

Moments later, everyone else exited the club, heading off to their homes. Buffy checked that everyone got home safely, aided by a slayer for safety. She couldn't take chances… if she lost one more person she loved she was sure she would crack.

After everyone had left, she decided to do a final round of patrol. Just to wipe the area, for the night.

After the first few minutes… she started getting tingles. She knew this feeling…

"Spike?" she called, trying to figure out why she had been so quick to think it was him. It was probably Angel or one of his Evil cronies checking up on her. "I am so stupid…"

After ten minutes, she was still feeling the same tingle. She always felt it when he was around. It was her slayer senses, warning her that she was up against a 'big bad' or whatever.

Finally, she stopped. "Okay. Whatever or whoever the hell is out there; can you _please_ just come out? You're giving me the spooks. And that's not something a Slayer wants to feel at night."

What happened next was completely against anything that she _ever_ thought would happen. Instead of walking away, rushing her or staying hidden, the mysterious figure stepped out of the shadows.

Right in front of her, he stood, leather jacket billowing out behind him. Peroxide blonde hair slicked back. Blue eyes gazing at her as he tilted his head.

She backed away from him, tripping over a tree root and falling backwards onto her ass. "_Spike_?"

* * *

**A/N:** You know… I was looking at my hits list the other day… and over a hundred people had looked at the first chapter, and three had reviewed. If you all reviewed… a new chapter would be up much quicker. Or not. You could tell me that you hated it so I could improve on my writing skills a bit. Or a lot… 


	2. Drunken Flames

**A/N:** It appears that a lot of people liked that chapter… so I thought I'd bring out a second. Ha. I forgot Buffy was supposed to be drunk… silly me.

**Jess**: Thank you!  
**ness345**: Will do – Thank you very much for your review.  
**funkydevil206**: Thanks!  
**spikegothicchick**: More it is.  
**spbangel**: She's gonna be going through _a lot_ of emotions…  
**Wolfram-and-Hart-Sauron**: I'd much prefer not to die…  
**leina**: Well, I couldn't just watch the fifth season of Angel and watch him not go after her. That's just painful.  
**justawritier**: I think this was soonish.  
**duckies2005**: Thank you! I'm updating them all in alphabetical order. It's the best way to go if I want to finish any of them.  
**30obelow**: Thank you very much for reviewing. It's great when people take the time, you know? I hope you like this one.  
**shimmerangel**: Thank you!

Thank you all _so much_ for your reviews. I appreciate them more than you know.

* * *

"_Spike_?" she repeated, making a strange snorting noise as she picked herself up of the ground. She giggled. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Are you drunk, slayer?" he frowned.

Her eyes widened. "No!" she glanced at the ground. "A little…" her eyes snapped up to him. "Not as drunk as _you_."

He raised his eyebrows at her and stared for a moment. "Right then." He pivoted on his heal and turned to walk away.

"Oh no you don't, mister. We have a _lot_ to talk about, you and me."

She grabbed his shoulder and hauled him to the ground.

"Let's start with…" she threw a sloppy right hook at him, catching the side of his face. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were back?"

He cocked his head to the side and stared at her.

Making a frustrated squealing noise, she sighed and turned to walk away. Then, she thought better of it and turned back around. "Where am I going?"

She looked at him as though she expected an answer.

"Uhhh…" his eyes darted around the street. "Home?"

She blinked at him.

"To… a hotel?"

Again, she blinked.

"Are you gonna help me out at all, pet?" he asked, rubbing the side of his face where she had hit him.

"You wish," she scoffed, turning around to walk away and once again turning back to face him. "I mourned you." She said truthfully, raising her eyebrows slightly, "Not well, I comply, but I mourned you just the same." A tear fell down her right cheek. Not a million tears, as he'd hoped. Just a single tear. And it hurt more than a river full. "It hurt. To have you dismiss my feelings that day. Just… wave me off… Then, you come prancing back into my life. After all this time… And here you are. All… here."

All he could do was look on. He couldn't tell her anything right now that could be of use. Depending on the amount of alcohol she had had, she may not even remember his being here in the morning.

The tear fell down the side of her face and dripped onto the ground. To him, it was slow motion. He watched it as it splattered. He watched as it dried up quickly. He watched as the ground became damp. At first he thought it was becoming damp with her tears, but looking to the sky proved him wrong.

Lightning flashed, followed closely by the crackles of thunder. Rain washed over her, causing her to shiver slightly.

"You were gone. For so long… you have been gone… why are you back?" she asked softly.

"I can't tell you that now, sweet. For the moment, let's just get you home, yeah?" he bowed his head slightly and peered up at her, rain dripping off the end of his nose.

She nodded and bit her bottom lip, turning and walking away. No request for him to walk with her, no invitation for him to come home with her. Nothing. He just watched her walk off. Alone.

* * *

Buffy yawned stretched, falling with a thud. Glancing around, she saw a few different views of her bedside table and bed.

She groaned and reached for her head, which pounded like there was no tomorrow.

_I'll murder you, Faith…_

Crawling over to the window, she drew the blinds to prevent the sunlightfrom blinding herand pulled herself to her feet, looking around the bedroom.

_What happened last night?_

She walked over to the bathroom started the bath. This could soothe her…

She stripped out of her clothes from the night before and put them in the basket by the door.

The tub neared full, and she turned it off, stepping in warily. Laying back in the warm water, she reached up for her head, pressing her hand against it and shutting her eyes.

Suddenly, she remembered what happened the night before. Her eyes snapped open and she sat upright immediately, cursing her hangover just as fast.

She climbed out and dried herself off, running to her bedroom and dressing in a tight pair of jeans and a baggy red T-shirt.

Not the best look when you are about to confront your previous lover, but it'd do.

She sighed irritably, storming into the kitchen and downing two pain killers before walking to the door and pulling it open. On the other side, stood Spike.

Her eyes widened and she stepped backwards. He stood with his head tilted and his blue eyes staring at her.

"Spike…" she whispered. Sure, she remembered **parts** of last night, but seeing him in her conscious state was completely different. Completely… **real**.

He didn't move, just continued to look at her.

"You're…" she released a breath, and moistened her lips with her tongue, "Here…"

Slowly, he inclined his head.

"Oh god…" memories of the night before flooded back to her. Her speech of mourning him, and his dismissal of her feelings, and… everything.

Her bottom lip trembled. She bit it to stop herself from crying. And still, he watched.

"Are you going to… say… anything?" she asked. Dumbly he stared back at her, studying her.

She took in a deep breath and released it.

"Fine."

She slammed the door in his face. Tears flowed down her face, but she held her breath to contain the sobs. She heard him sigh irritably behind the door before his fist slammed into the wall. A variety of his English curses could be heard in the hall.

She opened the door again and peered out at him. He glanced at her and looked at the ground.

Wiping her tears away, she walked forward and threaded the fingers of her left hand with those of his right, just as she had on that day.

He looked at their hands then to her. No words were needed. Both just felt the contact and remembered the flames.

It was all they had to do…

* * *

**A/N:** Hey, that could be an ending, or it could be a beginning. Your choice.

Please tell me what you thought and if you have any suggestions, please tell me.

Thank you


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

Alright, I was trying to decide the best way to let everyone know about the sequel… and I thought that posting a new chapter as an 'Author's Note' would do the trick.

Anyway, here I am, letting you know that this story (_I will find you_) is seconds away from having a sequel (_Now That I've Found You_). Two of my readers suggested this, and I was forced to agree. The end of that chapter was too much of an ending. So I'm continuing it in _Now That I've Found you_, and I'm lowering the rating of this fiction to T… just for the sake of it.

Thank you for reading.

PAGE BREAK

**ATTN:** I'm currently looking for a Graphics Person, to make a Layout for my website. It's just going to be a basic HTML website, where I can put my stories, just for the sake of it - you know?

So, if you have a program like Adobe Photoshop or something and you wouldn't mind making a Spike/Buffy layout for me, please contact me.


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